Finding Common Ground in Unexpected Places
Common ground can be a hard thing to spot when people’s views are completely opposite. In a world where differences often divide us—whether they stem from political beliefs, religious convictions, or cultural backgrounds—finding shared experiences can seem nearly impossible. Yet, sometimes, life or in this case death, reminds us that our similarities run deeper than we realize.
The reason I bring this up is that I recently attended a funeral for someone I grew up with and babysat. If you haven’t read Manifesting Me: A Story of Rebellion and Redemption, you may not know that I belonged to an Apostolic Pentecostal church during my childhood. https://wellnessgardentoolshed.com/product-category/books/ Most of my neighbors attended the same church, so I became well-versed in the Scriptures and the teachings of Jesus. Though my spiritual path has taken me in a different direction, that foundational knowledge remains with me.
The funeral was held in a small, rural town with a population of about 950—an area filled with horse people and ranchers. Having owned a horse myself and been raised around them since the age of six, I am no stranger to that world. I’ve fed chickens, gathered eggs, cleaned out coops, and tended horses. Even though I grew up in Oakland, a rough urban city in California, I had plenty of exposure to the homestead lifestyle.
People from the mountains and the countryside often have different worldviews from city dwellers. Whether it’s politics, societal issues, or even approaches to daily life, the divide can be significant. But when tragedy strikes—when a young person dies—those differences fade, at least for a moment. Grief has a way of leveling the playing field, reminding us of our shared humanity.
Politics, Religion, and Death
We are often taught to avoid discussing certain topics, namely religion and politics, because of the potential for conflict. History has shown us that many wars and disputes stem from these subjects, and it’s easy to see why people choose to tread carefully around them.
Yet, in moments of loss, something shifts. When a death occurs, it becomes an opportunity to set aside ideological battles and focus on what truly matters—supporting those who are grieving and love that we have for each other regardless of beliefs.
At this funeral, conversations inevitably touched on faith, but rather than being divisive, it was a reminder of how shared history and mutual respect can bridge gaps. I was undoubtedly the outsider in many ways, but I’ve learned how to adapt. The common ground was simple yet profound: we were all there to honor someone’s life and comfort their loved ones. That was enough.
I won’t deny that I felt a twinge of apprehension before attending. My beliefs have evolved in ways that differ significantly from those I grew up with, and I wondered if my presence might feel out of place. However, my dear friend—someone who had been like a big sister, even a mother figure to me—understood my hesitation. I knew that this gathering was about something greater than personal differences. The energy that all of this comes from is “love” energy, the most powerful energy.
When a loss occurs, we are given a choice: to dwell on what separates us or to embrace what unites us. In that small-town church, surrounded by people whose lives had taken different paths than mine, I found connection not through shared ideology but through shared experience. Even though some of the wording was triggering for me, the love energy was there and undenyable. Love is the common ground.
Commonality is a bridge. It allows us to meet in the middle, even if only for a moment. In times of grief, that bridge is more important than ever. And sometimes, stepping onto it is the most healing thing we can do.
Lessons in Unity
This experience reminded me that, at our core, we all seek belonging, understanding, and comfort. Whether we are bound by faith, family, or shared history, these commonalities far outweigh our differences. Too often, we allow labels and preconceived notions to define our interactions, missing the opportunity to see beyond them. But when we strip those away, we recognize that we are more alike than we are different.
This funeral wasn’t just about saying goodbye; it was about remembering that love and compassion transcend ideology. It was a reminder that, in our most vulnerable moments, human connection is what matters most. Perhaps if we approached everyday interactions with this same mindset—seeking understanding rather than division—we would find common ground more often than we think.
In the end, I met some really kind people. Regardless of our opposing views, we found common ground in love and kindness, shared stories, and our humanity in a time of loss.
In Conclusion
Opposing views are what make the world go round. Like Yin and Yang, opposites create a whole. Life brings both joy and grief, light and dark, and everything in between. We can find common ground in three ways: through our shared humanity, our similar upbringings—whether we come from the same generation, have mutual friends, or belong to the same communities—and in our experiences of grief.
I am grateful that, in this time of loss, people came together not with judgment but with love in their hearts. In a world so divided, my hope is that we all recognize our shared longing to feel safe, included, and loved. That desire is the common ground that can heal us. Though we may hold different perspectives, we are more alike than we realize. How can this be anything other than benificial to everyone and anyone?
I will deeply miss the one I considered my little brother. Though life took us in different directions, I will never forget him or the love his mother poured into him during his 27 years—years in which he could not move, speak, or communicate in the conventional sense. Yet, if you knew him, you’d know that he did communicate. Perhaps part of his journey was to teach us about finding common ground. All I know is that, despite spending nearly 27 years in what was technically a coma, he became a unifying force, bringing together people from all walks of life.
Stories are the common ground that allow people to connect, despite all our defences and all our differences.
My Gratitude
Building the Wellness Garden Tool Shed has been quite a journey, and I couldn’t have done it without your support. Knowing that someone is reading my blog keeps me going. The path to wellness isn’t always easy—challenges arise, and for me, they seem never-ending. But I’ve learned that I am the common denominator in my world and the obstacles within it. Growth happens through small, consistent steps, and writing these blog posts is one of mine.
If you think someone could benefit from this, please feel free to share. You can also find me on TikTok (for as long as it’s here!) and YouTube, where I share weekly readings and daily shorts. And don’t be shy—if you’d like to connect, leave a comment here or on any of my socials. ~ Cheers
