Holidays Are Here
The holidays are here, bringing excitement and joy for many people. Personally, I love this time of year. However, for some, the holidays serve as a painful reminder of family dysfunctions or personal losses. This stark reality hit close to home for me recently when an acquaintance of mine took their life the day before Thanksgiving. It resurfaced my own family’s dark history and served as a poignant reminder that not everyone looks forward to this season. Empathy and understanding can go a long way in supporting those who are grieving during this time.
Death and the Holidays: Taboo Topic
Talking about death during the holidays may feel taboo, but it’s an important conversation to have. It’s not something to be feared but rather acknowledged and approached with compassion. Having experiences with my own loss have shaped my perspective on this. In 1987 my grandfather had a heartattack the day before Thanksgiving. My mother passed away two days after Christmas in 2009. Eleven years later, my grandmother passed a week before my mom’s death anniversary in 2020. Then last year, one of my favorite cousins died one week before my grandmother’s anniversary.
What’s striking is that my fondest holiday memories involve these very people. They were the ones who brought so much joy to the season. I believe their love for the holidays is why their passing during this time feels significant—a way to be remembered in a season they cherished.
Choices: Where Will Focus on Happy or Sad Memories?
Social media can amplify grief, especially around the holidays. Lately, I’ve seen numerous posts about loved ones passing, which makes an already challenging time even harder. In these moments, I remind myself that I have a choice in how I process these emotions. Do I dwell on the absence of my loved ones? Or do I focus on the beautiful memories I have of them—laughing, celebrating, and waiting for Santa to bring a sack of gifts? For me, the latter is a much healthier and comforting choice.
That said, I understand that for some, the pain may be too fresh to shift their focus to happier memories. To those in this place, I’d encourage you not to suppress your feelings. Bottling them up only delays the healing process. Instead, find small ways to distract yourself and step out of your headspace. Watch a movie that makes you laugh or dive into a book that captivates you—a temporary escape that can offer relief without numbing the pain.
Healthy Coping Strategies
It’s crucial to steer clear of harmful coping mechanisms like alcohol or drugs. While they might provide momentary relief, they often leave you feeling worse once the effects wear off. The side effects of these substances can deepen the emotional hole you’re trying to climb out of. Instead, focus on healthy ways to honor your feelings and create space for healing.
Here are a few suggestions that can help get your mind off of your grief temporarily. When you are hyper focused on something, it eleviates your pain. I’m not saying it will go away, but it can help. We have products that can help guide your attention to the things that make you feel better. https://wellnessgardentoolshed.com/shop/
- Get lost in a captivating book.
- Watch a movie the holds your attention.
- Get outside.
- Exercise.
- Create something.
- Learn a new skill.
Let’s aim to approach this holiday season by treating each other with kindness and understanding. You never know what someone might be going through. For those who are grieving, I hope you find moments of comfort and, when possible, ways to cherish the memories of the loved ones who made your holidays special.
Life and death are illusions. We are in a constant state of transformation.
Conclusion
This topic is definitely not your everyday holiday subject, but I believe it should be discussed. I know there are people that need to hear this so they don’t feel alone. As much as I am about wellness and manifesting, life comes with death, which feels dark and heavy. If I can shed some light on the shadow side of life in order to heal, I am up for the job. Because life comes with contrast which includes shadows.
I think because I’ve been surrounded by death from an early age, it has been an intriguing subject matter. I truly believe that there is more than this physical life and that death is a mere transformation. My deceased loved ones do communicate with me, and I know yours will, too.
Spirit gives us messages all of the time. It’s a matter of noticing the signs and being receptive to the possibility. Like they say, (don’t ask me who) “Believing is seeing. Not seeing is believing.”
My hope for those hurting is that you will experience little moments of joy. Thank you for reading this blog. I appreciate all of you. Let’s embrace our empathetic side and comfort each other. Happy Holidays! XOX ~ Leah
