By Leah E. Reinhart
We Need to Trust
Trust is important and needed in all areas of life; home, parents, siblings, employees, employers, clergy, teachers, babysitters, animal sitters, friends, partners, police, politicians, etc. What do we do when that trust has been broken? Because it will be inevitably at some point of your life. That’s where it becomes challenging and possibly a life lesson for some of us. The last blog was about “soulmates” and how they help our souls to evolve, and many of those “soulmates” have broken our trust, making it hard to ever trust again.
For the most part, I’d describe myself as a pretty trusting person. My husband would disagree at times. I’m not a jealous person and that maybe why I consider myself a trusting person. My issues are surrounded by finances and money. Which is contradictory to all of the entrepreneur stuff I listen to. It’s difficult for me to swallow that I can’t do everything on my own. The time has come for me to trust in someone else to help grow my business. Hence, why this is this week’s blog.
Broken Trust
I bet if you struggle with trusting people, it may have started in your childhood. As a young child, I was very timid and shy. As an intuitive person, I knew when people weren’t telling the truth, especially when my parents were trying to hide stuff from me. That’s pretty normal for parents to protect children from unnecessary adult drama, but you can see how it would teach children to not always believe what their parents are saying.
The biggest trust issue for me had to be when the neighbors down the street killed their own family member. Or maybe it was when the neighbor tried to break our door down to fight with my mom. Or maybe it was the time my best friend’s house burned down, killing her baby brother. What is normal and should be, never really was in my experience. When it came to my safety, I trusted only on myself. That’s probably why I’m a terrible back-seat driver.
There are other things that break trust, such as getting robbed or burglarized. My mom wouldn’t leave the house after we were burglarized. She thought it would happen again. Look at what happened to the First Republic when people didn’t think their money was safe, losing faith in our banking system. It is lost in many ways, and when things happen to you. Any situation that leaves you questioning your being will trigger old negative emotions. It can take years to recover. The good news there are tools for rebuilding it.
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Restoring Faith
Whether you’ve lost trust in someone or vice versa, you can rebuild it. Although, it won’t happen over night. Remember most people aren’t out to get you.
- Be honest and transparent. Honesty is the foundation of trust. Be truthful and consistent in your words and deeds. Don’t lie, cheat, or hide important information from others. Share your thoughts and feelings openly and respectfully.
- Keep your promises and commitments. Do what you say you will do and follow through on your obligations. If you can’t keep a promise, explain why and apologize. Don’t make promises that you can’t or won’t keep.
- Listen and empathize. Show genuine interest and care for others. Listen actively and attentively to what they say and how they feel. Try to understand their perspective and emotions. Don’t interrupt, judge, or criticize them.
- Respect and appreciate. Value and respect the opinions, preferences, and boundaries of others. Don’t impose your views or expectations on them. Recognize and acknowledge their strengths, contributions, and achievements. Express gratitude and praise when appropriate.
- Support and cooperate. Be helpful and supportive of others. Offer your assistance and resources when needed. Work together to achieve common goals and solve problems. Don’t compete or undermine them.
- Communicate and resolve. Communicate clearly and constructively with others. Avoid misunderstandings and conflicts by clarifying your intentions and expectations. Address and resolve any issues or disagreements as soon as possible. Don’t avoid, ignore, or escalate them.
- Trust and be trustworthy. This is a two-way street. Give others the benefit of the doubt and assume good faith. Don’t be suspicious or paranoid. At the same time, be trustworthy yourself and demonstrate it through your actions and attitudes. Don’t abuse or betray the trust of others.
Once you’ve established this pattern over time, you will see that trust has been restored.
Health Relationships
Trust is the foundation of a healthy partnership. Relationships will be challenged, whether your friends talked about you behind your back (which is human nature), or your business partner screwed up and cost you tons of money, or your family member tells you one thing about a living trust only for that to change, to whatever the case is. If the relationship is worth keeping, how you build it back can lead to a much healthier and deeper unity. I’ve had a handful of friendships, family members, and coworkers that have been tested on trust, and graduated to a more meaningful connection than before, simply by communicating honestly with both parties really hearing what the other person is saying. It takes repetition, time, and honesty for that trust to build back.
We need our family, our friends, coworkers, etc. in our lives. Lack of trust eats at all parties involved. The human design wasn’t made for us to be hermits. Trust is involved in all parts of our lives that we have to depend on each other. I’m not saying you have to trust everyone you meet, because some people do have ill intentions, but that’s rare. Overcoming issues is a life lesson for many of us. Be thankful for the people that have been put in your life to help grow your soul. Trust the process. Life is working for you.
Let me know how you’ve overcome your trust issues in the comments. It may help another person. I’d also love to hear your thoughts. If you know someone that is struggling with this, please feel free to pass this along. Thank you for sticking to the end and reading this blog.
Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.
Stephen Covey
