Leah E. Reinhart - Wellness Garden Tool Shed

There Are Benefits In Setbacks

Setbacks

I was interviewed yesterday on Stories that Empower podcast with Sean, where one of the questions was, What was a setback in your life, that had a profound effect? I’ve had many setbacks in life. But this question really made me think. Everyone has had some sort of a setback, if they’ve lived at all.

I thought my life was heading in one direction until one incident change my whole trajectory. I know that I am not unique in this situation.

Setbacks introduce contrast into your life to help you determine what it is you really want or what’s best for you. So in the long run, there are benefits to setbacks.

What setbacks are tripping you up? Are you open to the idea that setbacks come with benefits? I’m 49 yrs. old and have had many experiences of let down, like many of you. But I’ve seen the upside as well. I’ve seen how those let downs were like dodging a bullet. I’m sure many of you have dodged bullets.

The Benefits of Setbacks

How exactly are setbacks beneficial, you ask? Haven’t you had a relationship that ended not on your terms? The feeling of rejections hurts like no other. It feels like you did something wrong or worse, there’s something wrong with you.

As time goes on and your heart is on the mend, you meet someone new. This person is actually better than the one that broke your heart. Had you’d stayed with that other person, you would have never had an opportunity to meet this new fabulous person. Benefit #1 of a setback.

It’s the same with a job. You so desperately wanted this position and worked so hard for it. You were the best candidate for the job. You even had a strong inclination you were getting this job. Only to have the carpet pulled right out from under your feet. You fall flat on you your face. Completely blindsided. Later an opportunity comes up, even better than what you could’ve imagined. Benefit #2 resulting from a setback.

Sometimes the benefits take a long time to show themselves, but they always do. Sometimes it’s years and sometimes a few days. Look at it more like a detour; you’ll get there eventually. Life is working for you.

Life Is Working For You

Things don’t always happen in the time or the exact details we have dreamed of, but it doesn’t mean to give up. If anything it should motivate you. Life is working for you at all time, even when it feels like it’s not. If you truly reflect on your life, you will notice how things have always worked towards your benefit. So go out there and don’t let those setbacks detour you. Keep plugging along. Whether it’s a book your writing, a record your producing, getting on that team, moving into your dream home, or meeting that perfect mate, don’t let the setbacks discourage you. You will get there.

“If you so choose, even the unexpected setbacks can bring new and positive possibilities. If you so choose, you can find value and fulfillment in every circumstance.” – Ralph Marston

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How Does the Three Toxic C’s Affect Your Success?

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Why Does a Difference of Opinion Have to Turn into a Fight?

Is Fighting a Good Topic to Discuss?

I struggled whether I should write a blog about the way people fight over a difference of opinions. I decided to go forward in hopes of being part of the solution, no matter how small my contributions is. Something has to change. What we are doing as a society, isn’t working that well. Social media has its positive uses; but it has a very dark side, we all know too well. People used to be polite to one another in public. Now, people will ignore you or say something rude. Remember when we were taught, If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?

What happened to manners? What about a simple smile? Fighting doesn’t usually occur when someone is being polite or smiling. In fact, studies show that if you smile at someone, it boost their self-esteem; it’s contagious. If you need to express your opinion of a topic, can you do it nicely?

Does A Debate Have to Turn into a Fight?

Everyday on social media there is some sort of controversy. And it turns into a fight. Our country is having some serious issues on our communication skills. Many don’t know how to have a healthy debate, resulting in loss of relationships and friendships. How can we be part of the solution and not part of the problem?

For starters, when someone has a difference of opinion, it’s probably not a good thing to start of your conversation with a criticizing word or sentence. You will immediately lose the person’s attention and send them into defensive mode. Nothing will come out of this conversation, except a fight or argument.

Fighting or arguing on social media gives you the false sense of power to say anything that you might not have the guts to say in person. Not too mention, there’s no sense of tone in writing and things are misinterpreted, leading to a fight. So, how do we not get provoked into fighting?

Let’s Avoid the Fight

Some topics like racism, politics, religion, abortion, and gun control are topics that have strong convictions and are all over social media. More than likely you aren’t going to change a person’s mind on these subjects. But if there needs to be conversations regarding these topics, try not to make it personal. Listening to what someone has to say whether you agree or not, is one way to avoid a fight.

Ask questions as to why they feel the way they do without judgment. Hopefully, they will reciprocate the listening. When people feel like they’ve been heard, their walls come down and they are more likely to hear your point of view.

No one will respond positively with an opening judgmental statement such as “What’s wrong with you?” or “How can you possibly think that way?” which implies that they think you are some kind of idiot. Everyone likes to be treated with respect. You won’t want to fight, when someone is treating you with respect.

Someone Else’s Shoes

I have strong opinions on all of the topic above, like most of you do. Being a hairstylist for many years, I am paid for opinions on hair care and styles, not much else. My clientele is very diverse; as far as being religious, conservative, liberal, and somewhere in between. In order to keep my clientele, I have to try to put myself in someone else’s shoes.

By putting myself in their shoes, it helps me not to take things personally. It helps me understand the client; or at least, see why they feel the way that they do. By doing that it opens the door for me to share my thoughts and they try to understand me. We don’t always see eye to eye, but we learn something new almost every time and there’s never a fight.

We All Can Get Along

Let’s not reduce to the fighting that is shown on reality TV. We all know or should know, reality TV isn’t reality; it’s entertainment. I’m not sure why people screaming or pulling hair, is declared entertaining. But for some reason, it sells. It personally gives me some anxiety – much like the fighting on social media.

If I get triggered over a comment on social media, I try to look inside and see why. If my emotions are too much to handle, I block those conversations. I try not to engage in contentious topics. I admit I read comments, but I have learned in the past, participating doesn’t always end with the people you thought you were talking with.

With love, empathy, and compassion, we all can get along. It takes some work and lots of real communication which includes listening to one another. We are at at volatile time where emotions and feelings are running extremely high. Let’s look for solutions instead of pointing out what we deem as the problem. Who really likes to fight?

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. – Dalai Lama

Do You Feel the Effects of Mercury Retrograde?

Effects of Mercury Retrograde

Some of you have heard of Mercury Retrograde and how terrible it is. I know some of you are rolling your eyes and I totally get it. This is just some astrology hokum. I would too, but I’m one of those people that sees patterns. I have quite a memory much like an elephant to remember patterns and when they took place . Have you felt the effects of Mercury Retrograde?

Mercury retrograde tends to affect learning, contracts, listening, speaking, travel, codes, electronics, and communication. This occurrence happens 3 to 4 times a year. We happen to be in one right now, March 23 – April 15. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, “Mercury again! When will this end?” Mercury gets blamed quite a bit. How are your phones and computers holding up right now?

How Are Your Electronics and Flights?

I can usually tell when Mercury is about to be in retrograde, when my computer acts weird, my phone does weird things, or my clients are late due to an unusual amounts of traffic and it’s not even a full moon. People tend to lose their luggage or have delayed flights during this time. It can be more of a nuisance, if you only focus on its negative effects.

I know there’s no scientific proof of all of this. But I don’t need to have that, when I can see correlations and consistent patterns. My client works on computers for a living. I’ve asked him when Mercury is in retrograde, “Are you extra busy? Are things not going as smoothly as they normally do?” Knowing the answer is yes, he validates me every time. He’s very left brain and more scientific to believe in such nonsense. Yet, he will now ask me if Mercury is doing its thing, because he’s noticing a pattern. Don’t worry though, not all is bad when Mercury retrograde happens.

The “Re’s” That Come With Mercury Retrograde

There are many “re’s” with Mercury retrograde. Lot’s of redo’s, repairs, and revisions which all sounds kind of negative. I recently had to send a list of mistakes in my advanced reader copies so it could to be “re”vised. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, because it pointed out all of my mistakes. My ego was bruised a little. In the long run, having my mistakes corrected before my book goes to the public to be criticized for poor grammar or typos, is a much better plan. Not all “re’s” are bad.

Mercury retrograde is an excellent time for revising, redecorating, reconsidering, re-evaluating, reorganizing, renewing, rejuvenating, reinventing, and rejoicing. It’s a time for reflecting.

Do you have a project you need to revisit? To be successful sometimes it’s important to rethink some of our ideas and plans. Maybe they need revising since some things have evolved or changed. What was working at one time, might not be working as well as it used to. Slowing down and taking time to reevaluate a situation hasn’t hurt anyone. All of this is needed to succeed.

No Need to Panic When Mercury is in Retrograde

There is no need to panic when Mercury is in Retrograde. It’s not all bad. Look at the bright side; you get to slow down for a minute and reassess your situation and revamp it. Change is inevitable, so why not go with it. Remember to be organized and don’t wait until the last minute do something. You might need a little longer travel time to get where you need to be. Maybe Mercury in Retrograde is the Universe’s way of making us slow down in this fast-paced world we live in.

“When things are bad, it’s the best time to reinvent yourself.” —George Lopez

Everyone Has the Potential to Fulfill Their Dreams

First Step is Potential

Everyone has the potential to fulfill their dream. Potential is like the seed of a dream. Are you willing to plant that seed? If’ you’re not, what’s holding you back? Is is lack of knowledge? Is it fear of failure? Lack of motivation? Are you impatient?

Have you ever met someone and thought Wow, they have such potential? Yet, they never did anything with it. Nothing frustrates me more. They have great ideas or talent, but no follow through.

There seems to be this consensus in which things must happen within a year or two in order for something to come into fruition; such as writing a book, being a rockstar, being an actor, etc. Potential must be followed with action. You can’t become a medical doctor without many years of education. If you want to be a hairstylist, you need to complete a certain amount of hours in beauty school. Many famous people have had lots of rejection, before making it big.

Everything Has a Gestational Period Including Your Dreams

Everything has a gestational period including your dreams. Once you’ve planted the seed (dream) let it develop. A gardener doesn’t dig up the seed to see if its growing. It waters it, fertilize it, and cares for it. Seeds and dreams aren’t all that much different. Let the dream develop, grow, and evolve. Learn everything about your dream life; all aspects of it, positive and negative.

My son’s dream is to be a rockstar. He has great potential to make it big. He’s quickly learning that it’s not so simple. There is an extremely high turnover in band members, which slows down the band’s progress. There are many talented musicians with potential, but talent and potential aren’t enough. I think most bands don’t make it, because they quit too soon. While talking with other bands that have had some success, my son has learned that this is part of the process. It happens to most rockstars.

The other day I volunteered to be an extra in one of my friend’s TV comedy pilot. I was proud of my friend. I knew how long this had been in the making; from idea to production. He’s one of the ones that didn’t give up on his dream. I’m convinced people give up on their dreams prematurely. Or they are too fixated on certain details. Details can delay your process.

I Had a Specific Vision

When I had the idea to open my own salon back in 2008, I had a specific vision. I wanted a house on acreage and build a space where I could do hair, read angel cards, write books, host authors, spiritual teachers, and anything under the realm of healing the mind, body, and soul. The idea had tons of potential. I wanted it to be my Wellness Garden Tool Shed. I’d have the Garden filled with healing herbs, flowers, fruits, and vegetables. I’d have the Tools needed for outer beauty and inner beauty; hair care products, jewelry, books, etc., and the Shed to house everything involving Wellness.

The Kinks

My husband and I didn’t have the funds to buy property at the time. I visualized as much as possible. I made vision boards; whatever I could do to, but nothing was happening. There was a house in a particular area I was looking and it was perfect. It had been on the market for quite some time and the price was reduced. Then the worst happened. It sold. I was so disappointed. My vision wasn’t happening exactly the way I had planned. Sometimes there are kinks in the plan, but it doesn’t mean the plan is ruined for life.

Six months later I found out that the house that I wanted with tons of natural space was going to have a whole new housing development built. I would’ve died had I bought that property. Maybe delays or unforeseen and unwanted changes really are for the best in realizing your potential.

Epiphany

I kept the Wellness Garden Tool Shed in the back of my mind, but didn’t dwell on it. Since our funds were tied up in other investments, getting a loan was nearly impossible. Years went by and I had started getting serious about writing, angel card reading, and hosting guest with unique abilities inline with my goals. I had an epiphany.

Why don’t I have my Wellness Garden Tool Shed here in the house. My already existing yard could be the garden. I could do some landscaping and do all the things I had thought of here. My backyard has a beautiful view of rolling hills. Plus, I have the space to host guests for whatever. The point is had I’d been strictly set on a specific location, I’d still be waiting for my potentially great salon.

It’s All About the Process

It took eight years from a potentially wonderful business to a tangible and prosperous business. Had someone told me, I’d have to wait eight years to have my dream business, I don’t know if I could’ve handled it. It was the process which kept me going. Each step lead to the next and drove me closer to my goal. It was fun learning the different steps of building a business from scratch. I have everything I want in a business and more. It is growing and evolving like a garden. I’m not trying to brag. I knew I had potential and took the necessary steps to get where I wanted to be. If I can do it, you can too!

Remember it’s the journey not the destination. Some things are too big to take in all at once. A building starts with one brick, a city starts with one neighborhood, and so forth. The point is to start. Are you living up to your Potential?