by Leah E. Reinhart
Twin Flame Coach
I thought I’d share my information on how to spot a bad coach after I stumbled upon a Netflix documentary, “Escaping Twin Flames” that first aired November 8, 2023. I guess I’m a little late… I’ve always cringed at some of the coaching ads I see. Now, I know why. It gives off cult vibes and I, like many, can see through the B.S. of a fraud. I know not all coaches are bad. After all, I read cards for people and offer guidance, which at times has been described as a of type spiritual coach. But I will never force or try to convince someone my cards are always accurate and make people live by them.
First off, I want to acknowledge the amount of courage it took to come forward to the ex-members of Twin Flame University on sharing their experiences. No one wants to admit that they’ve allowed themselves to be manipulated into spending thousands of dollars and, in this case, allow their sexual orientation to be manipulated because life/relationship coach, a self-proclaimed prophet, or declared the “chosen by God one” told them what to do. This group is still on social medias making false promises to connect you to your “twin flame” or “eternal love” by signing up for their coaching programs and other products ranging from $10.00-$9000.00. https://www.netflix.com/title/81615919
Netflix Discloser Paraphrased. After Twin Flame University was investigated there was not sufficient evidence to press charges.
The Vulnerable Make the Best Targets
These types of groups are led by one or a few people that know exactly what they are doing and who they are targeting. They advertise to vulnerable people in search of a better life. Who wouldn’t want a better life? After all, I am attracted to ads that offer ways to make me more money. If you’re single and want to be in a relationship, I’m sure you’d want to meet your “Twin Flame.”
Any person that hasn’t grown up in a dysfunctional environment and is psychologically healthy, most likely wouldn’t be a target. I’m a fairly confident person now, but not growing up. With the issues going on in my home while I was a child, and with my personality being quite different from my family made me an excellent target for a cult. Cults were a big thing in the 70’s and 80’s and since covid, they’ve seem to have made a comeback.
The riddled with strict rules church’s members gave me the attention that I felt was missing in my home at the time. Their goal was to get new members to keep it alive. Being that it was hard to keep the congregation with its harsh dress code, rules surrounding dating, dancing, sex, and education. It was great in the beginning, until I became very involved. I started to see what was going on behind the scenes; how they pick people for you to marry, what kind of sex you can have, cover ups regarding sexual and physical abuse, money, and murder. They had total control of their members and we must not forget about the 10% of all gross income tithes.
https://wellnessgardentoolshed.com/product/manifesting-me-a-story-of-rebellion-and-redemption/
Spotting Red Flags When Seeking Coaching
Like I said, not all coaching is bad. Many successful business entrepreneurs have a coach. But there are red flags to help you decipher the difference of a cult or a legit coaching program. In some cases cult leaders aren’t much different than a bad coach.
List of Some Main Red Flags of Bad Coaches
- Anyone that tells you they are a prophet and God has sent them to do this work.
- Making unfulfilled promises regarding money, love, health.
- Claiming to cure mental and physical illnesses.
- Convincing you that you don’t know what’s best for you, only they do; they’re the only ones that can save you.
- Making you spend money money on programs that never end on order for you to succeed.
- Separating you from your family and friends, isolate you.
- Tell you if you leave bad things will happen to you.
- You didn’t try hard enough if you are successful; yet, take credit for your success.
- Get their constituents to contact you, to be your friend, and encourage you to stay with their testimonies.
- Sense of urgency, not giving you time to think things through.
- Deciding who should be your life partner.
- How to vote.
- If it’s too good to be true, then it isn’t.
- The coach’s life experience should be considered. Are they practicing what they preach?
List of Good Coaches
- Money back guarantee.
- Encourage you to come to your own conclusions.
- Don’t make false promises.
- They continue to learn themselves.
- Provide useful tools.
- Has a beginning and an end.
- Doesn’t take credit for your success.
- Makes you feel empowered and confident.
- The strategies are applicable and show results quickly with applied effort on your part.
- Has a successful business/or businesses, relationships, wealth, health, (whatever they are promoting).
Coaching Programs Are Everywhere
How many ads have you seen on Insta or FB on how to get rich? I know I see them all the time. I even talk about manifesting or law of attraction. Having someone in your life that holds you accountable for following through with tasks, is a good thing. When people attach a dollar figure to a service that keeps them on track is really not that different from a sports coach or even a program like Weight Watchers. Most of us know how to diet, but won’t, if there’s no investment. At least, I know I’m that way.
The problem with the “coaching” trend has more to do with the intention of the coach. Again, there are good coaches out there. It’s the cringy ones, or charlatans, that give the coaching industry a bad name. Their goal is to make as much money they can by playing into human nature desires. It’s also the same reason card readers or psychics get a bad wrap. Most readings are about money, love, lost loved ones, and career. The good coaches or anyone along those lines won’t make hurt your bank account in the process and offer real solutions to real problems. They don’t use phrases like “your worth it” or “hurry you must do this now”. Someone who is confident in what they do or the service they offer, doesn’t need to beg you. Plus, don’t forget your gut knows. Somehow we have a tendency to ignore to those red flags.
Unrealistic Promises
One of the biggest clues in spotting a funky coach, is their unrealistic promises. In “Escaping Twin Flames” they promise that anyone that signs up for their program will, in fact, find their twin flame, true one love, or soulmate. First of all, just because some relationships haven’t lasted a lifetime, doesn’t mean they weren’t successful at some point. Many people come and go through our lives with many teachings in doing so. The only thing a soulmate offers is your soul to grow. There isn’t a limit on growth.
Everyone wants to get rich. Anyone saying otherwise is probably kidding themselves to look pious or has been taught it’s bad to want money. The sad part is there are many people that believe these charlatans guaranteeing a certain dollar amount. Again, you are in control of your life. It’s okay to get a coach that actually gives you steps on how to further your business. But you are ultimately the one that takes the action to either hire a marketing manager or whatever it takes to go to the next level. If you are only spending thousands of dollars a month to talk to a coach that is driven by keeping you in the program with no end in sight, then that’s a problem.
Conclusion
Coaching can be a great way to enhance your business, relationships, and health, when you pick the right one. Do your research first. Look at how they live their life. If they are a relationship coach, look at their life history in relationships. A business coach should have proof of success in their business for awhile. Life coaches should be living a healthy lifestyle all around. Research them online and read all the reviews. Don’t look at the ones on their sites, they’ll only have positive ones and people that work for them or with them. See what they own. Information is ridiculously easy to find. Let’s not forget that the amount of one’s followers on social media doesn’t equate to knowledge or real talent or even true expertise.
It’s unfortunate when you see someone interviewed on a podcast or wherever and the message resonates with you, only to find out they were a fraud. There is a currently a famous life coach in the self-help circle where the person’s under scrutiny. No one is perfect, but if they aren’t living the type of life you are paying coaching services for, then there lies a huge red flag.
We all could or need a little improvement in life. There are many resources free or paid for that can help you achieve your goals. I know, I love self-improvement and self-help to be the best version of myself. And I am thankful for my mentors, podcasts interviews, and books that have given me an amazing amount of useful strategies to have stayed in healthy marriage for 25+ years and a sustained a career being my own boss for over 30+ years. How do you feel about coaches? Let me know in the comments. Thank you for reading this blog.
Bad coaching comes from the ego. Good coaching comes from the heart.
Mike Krzyzewski
