5 Techniques to Overcome the Fear of Confrontation

By Leah E. Reinhart

What Is Confrontation?

By definition, confrontation is a situation in which two or more people have opposing views, opinions, or goals and express them in a direct and sometimes aggressive way. I get it, but we all can’t agree all the time, but that doesn’t mean that confrontation has to lead to a verbal or physical fight. Our goals may not be the same as our friends’, coworkers’, and family’s’, which is the reality of things. How boring would the world be if we were exactly the same?

Arguing or confronting your parents was a no no for my generation and would lead to punishment. No one wanted to look stupid or wrong by disagreeing with the cool people. An Lord knows, you didn’t want your friends to disown you by confronting, what you would call, negative behaviors. Fear keeps us away from confrontation, rightfully so. When we our actions come from a place of fear, that doesn’t usually go well.

Avoiding Confrontation Can Have Negative Consequences

Believe me, I have had my share of confrontations not go as well. It didn’t go well when I waited too long to confront a situation and let my anger take over, making the person feel attacked. So, avoiding confrontation can have negative consequences for all parties involved:

• You may feel resentful, frustrated, or unhappy with the situation or the person you are avoiding.
• You may compromise your values, beliefs, or needs to please others or avoid trouble.
• You may miss out on opportunities for growth, learning, or improvement.
• You may harm your physical and mental health by suppressing your emotions or stress.
• You may damage your relationships by creating distance, distrust, or misunderstanding.

Therefore, it is important to learn how to face confrontation in a healthy and constructive way. Here are some strategies that can help you overcome your fear of confrontation and improve your conflict resolution skills:

5 Way To Help Improve Your Confrontation Resolution Skills

Therefore, it is important to learn how to face confrontation in a healthy and constructive way. Here are some strategies that can help you overcome your fear of confrontation and improve your conflict resolution skills:

• Reframe confrontation as an opportunity for dialogue, not a threat. Confrontation does not have to be a negative or aggressive experience. It can be a chance to express your views, listen to others, understand different perspectives, and find common ground or solutions.
• Remind yourself of the benefits of confronting the issue or the person. Think about how confronting the situation will help you achieve your goals, resolve your problems, protect your rights, or improve your relationships. Focus on the positive outcomes rather than the potential risks.
• Prepare for the conversation by clarifying your purpose, goals, and expectations. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. Write down your main points and practice them aloud. Anticipate possible reactions or objections from the other person and plan how to respond to them.
• Use assertive communication skills to express yourself clearly, respectfully, and confidently. Assertiveness is the ability to state your opinions, feelings, and needs without violating the rights of others. Assertive communication involves using “I” statements, such as “I feel”, “I think”, “I need”, rather than blaming or accusing statements, such as “You always”, “You never”, “You should”. It also involves using respectful language, tone, and body language, such as eye contact, nodding, smiling, and open posture.
• Seek professional help if you have a severe or persistent fear of confrontation that interferes with your daily functioning or well-being. You may have an underlying condition such as social anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, or low self-esteem that makes you avoid confrontation. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your fear and provide you with coping skills and strategies to overcome it.

Confrontation is inevitable in life, but it does not have to be scary or stressful. By following these strategies, you can learn to face confrontation with courage and confidence and turn it into a positive and productive experience.

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Why The Topic of Confrontation?

Since the internet along with social media, confrontations happen all of the time. The only thing is that it all being done behind a screen. It is easier to attack or express your opinion online than to someone directly. And it can get ugly real quickly. We are in a very divided time with 8 billion people on the planet. Confronting people online has serious ramifications now. Family members and friends are no longer on speaking terms. Jobs are being lost and people are being canceled.

If we can go to the individual and use the techniques above during a confrontation, relationships can be saved. You might even find that the confrontation you were in, made your relationship stronger than before. It builds trust to be vulnerable in front of people that won’t condemn you for expressing your feelings, while building your self-confidence and self-esteem. When we act out of fear, usually negative results happen. The more we act out of love and compassion, the better results.

Remember we are humans and no one is perfect. Half of the time the person you had turmoil with didn’t even had a clue that their behavior had a negative impact on you. By starting a conversation instead of an attack, you just might be surprised just how quickly and painless your confrontation gets resolved.

Do you have techniques that aren’t listed here? If so, please share in the comments. Thank you for reading.

I think confrontation is healthy, because it clears the air very quickly.

Bill Parcells