The Truth About a Soul Mate

By Leah E. Reinhart

The Misconceptions of a Soulmate

Everyone wants to find that soulmate, that one true love that makes all of their cares disappear. Who the heck wouldn’t want that? Nothing can describe that chemical feeling that radiates through your body, telling you that this person is the one! If you’re in you twenties, I’m sure you’ve experienced this feeling. Life is brighter, you have more energy, nothing in the world can bring you down. It’s the best drug ever. You have found your forever partner, life would end if anything destroyed this beautiful invigorating relationship, if I lose my soulmate.

Doesn’t this sound familiar? What happens when it comes to a halt? The relationship has ended and you feel like your entire life has ended. Now what? How can you ever move on in life? No motivation, you can barely get yourself out of bed. In fact, you may stay in bed for a week, crying all day long. Will you ever have feelings like that again with someone else? Are there more than one soul mate in a life time?

The answer if “yes” when you come to terms what a soulmate actually is. A soulmate is person that comes into your life to help your soul grow. It can be someone you fall in love with or someone that shakes your life to the core to get you to wake up and evolve, which includes friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, you get the idea. After many years of dysfunctional relationships and lots of therapy, I’ve learned who my soulmates were, by what they’ve taught me.

Searching for the Perfect Soulmate

I’ve written a coming of age memoir https://wellnessgardentoolshed.com/product/manifesting-me-a-story-of-rebellion-and-redemption/ describing my many dysfunctional relationships and life for that matter and my desire to break certain patterns. Since this is about soulmates and most people think of romantic relationships, I’ll begin with that topic while connecting the dots on familial and friend relationships. It all starts at the beginning, which is home.

I’m not bagging on my parents’ relationship because everyone has a different definition of what a marriage or relationship is. I knew from a very early age that I didn’t want what they had. There was a bunch of yelling and screaming which drove me out to whatever place would have me. I spent the night at friends’ houses, even joined a church that would be considered a cult (not as bad as Jim Jones, but had some of those elements). I would take from what I saw in those places and what was on television, to define what a decent relationship was. There was a lot of misguidance.

In my household my mother was the enforcer and not very good with affection, where my dad was the opposite. On my life’s journey, I observed TV offered a fantasyland which everyone would find their soulmate. In real life more than one of my friend’s moms would have black eyes, and the church preached that men were dominant and should be obeyed, and at times, picking your soulmate for you. Talk about being confused! None of that looked or felt good and led me to all sorts of “soulmates”.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Being that I was pretty naïve about relationships, due to my belief that dating was a sin, I fell behind when it came to having sex or a boyfriend. Yet when I hit puberty, I wanted a boyfriend, I wanted to kiss for the first time, and most of my friends had sex by the age of 16 years old.

For whatever reason most of my friends received much more male attention than I. So when I began attracting attention, I loved it. I wanted to experiment like other girls my age. In the church there was another young couple that got sneak around when no one was watching. I even helped them pass notes to one another. Very exciting stuff. Then I got my opportunity with an older church boy. Although he wasn’t a boy. I was 14 and he was 22, YIKES. I thought it was pretty impressive for a young girl to get a man, not so much the other way around, let alone illegal. Laws were more lenient in the mid 80’s.

Sneaking around made our relationship extra exciting. I finally had a real boyfriend, my soulmate. We would get married in the church and life would be full of bliss. Nope! We were caught. The church freaked out because of the illegal part in the age difference and I had to speak to the elders of the church and tell them in grave detail what had happened in the dark. Try telling to old men what happened in the dark at 15 years of age. Before anyone loses it over the age thing here, I was considered innocent by the church standards after the relationship ended, if you get what I mean. But I lost my so-called soulmate the day we were caught. I cried and thought I’d never fall for anyone again. Until the next one, then the next, and so on. There is new love after a heartbreak. Always!

Feelings

Extreme feelings need our attention right away. Much like nightmares, it’s the negative things or feelings that demand our attention quicker. And like nightmares, the issue at hand is usually not blatant. You have to consider symbolisms in dreams to interpret them. You have to do the same with your emotions. In a nightmare, you may have stranger that you can’t get a good look at, and is chasing you, trying harm you. One interpretation is that every part of the dream represents you. That means you’re running from some part of yourself. You are running from a new version of you that is afraid of change. Fear of the unknown. Not uncommon to have these types of dreams when venturing on a new career or job.

The same goes for relationships. That’s why soulmates aren’t just about romantic relationships. The romantic ones may speak louder to you, but a parent/child relationship or sibling relationship, neighbors, teachers, bosses, etc. can also be soulmates. Have you ever been triggered by a friend, coworker, boss, neighbor? You’d be a liar or lived under a rock, if you hadn’t at some point. We are constantly learning from each other. Some of our circles will trigger your emotions such as the need to please to get validation or rebel from an authority figure to get attention, which may stem from the lack of it at home.

In order for our souls to develop and grow, Life, Source, Etc. puts events, or people, around us to guide us to find our best selves. I believe we are all Spirits having a human experience. I believe Earth is our school that teaches our soul to grow while experiencing all parts of the human aspects that can’t be had on a spiritual realm. Not everyone will share this belief, but this theory has made it easier to digest the negative experiences that I went through.

Not All Soulmates are Negative

Like nightmares, not all dreams are bad. Same goes for soulmates. We tend to learn from negative experiences rather that positive ones. I’m sure it has something to do with our brain needing to solve problems and survive. But we do learn from positive soulmates as well. Think of a teacher that had your best interest at heart. They wanted you to succeed and taught you that mistakes weren’t bad, but a tool to learn. They encouraged mistakes because we all make them no matter what. After all all failure is a part of the success equation.

You meet a new friend that asks what your dreams and goals are, then helps you get after it. Where as some of your friends in the past gave you a thousand of reasons why that would be a terrible mistake. We all have met those Pollyanna’s and those Debbie Downers. Ask yourself which is better to be around? How do you feel?

Healthy relationships don’t make you second guess yourself. They don’t make you feel bad for their feelings, because you are not responsible for someone else’s feelings and neither are they. Healthy relationships are never violent or express jealousy. Healthy relationships are based on trust, communicative, have similar values, want better for their partners, encourage them to be healthy, mentally and physically. They build each other up. Help each other soul’s evolve in healthy ways.

The good news is when you think you’ve found your soulmate, what part of your soul are they putting on spotlight? Both have a place in your soul’s growth. Rollercoasters are fun for short period of times and wreaks havoc on the body. A road trip is something you can do for a lifetime without violently shaking your insides. You get to decide if you want the nightmare and decipher that, or the dream that takes you on a fun loving journey. I found out what was realistic and sustainable for me after many rollercoaster rides. I hope you find what works best for you.

A sad soul can kill quicker than a germ.

John Steinbeck

This is a rather dark quote but gets to the point.

Some Lessons I’ve Learned From Different Soulmates

• I don’t need others to accept me, because life accepted me therefor I am part of this world regardless how others may feel. Certain coworkers and peers taught me that.
• I don’t have to rely on other people giving me love, because it resides in me. My parents taught me that one. Whether parents shower you with love or withhold it, it’s up to you and only you to give it to yourself. One of the greatest gifts my parents (soulmates) taught me.
• I’ve learned how to be resourceful from not being spoiled. My parents didn’t give more than our custodial needs or offer much support, but never hindered my ability to go for what I wanted. If I could figure a way to make things work, go for it. It was frustrating at the time, but there’s not much that can stop me when I put my mind to a task.
• All of my heartbreaks taught me to look at myself and figure out why I was attracted to them in the first place. The taught me about self-reflection. After all, I was the common denominator. They taught me about my own self-esteem and how to take charge of it.
• Bullies have to be one of the greatest soulmates. If you can stand up to a bully especially when you’re young, it does wonders in life. I learned that from growing up in a tough area in Oakland, Ca. Facing your fears does a body and soul good. You don’t have to be mean to be a leader, besides fear scares people off in the long run.
• My daughter’s biological father taught me many lessons; what I will and won’t put up with another human, I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person, and never rely on someone’s potential. If it’s not there now, it may never manifest.
• My husband (soulmate of 26+ years of marriage) showed me what it was like to be in a healthy relationship, through communication, adopting my daughter and loving her as his own, supporting our children in their activities, exploring the world on our many road trips, introducing us to snow sports and dirt bikes. And be willing to resolve issues during the tough times. Most of all growing with each other, even if it’s at different rates. Icing on the cake.

I believe in reincarnation and many lives. Having stated that, I don’t remember them. So make this life count. Life is meant to be experienced. If you didn’t have negativity, how would you define great? This is how I define the truth about a soulmate.

Rose Quartz Attracts Love

Nothing does a better job then a Rose Quartz Crystal candle when wanting to bring more love into your environment. https://wellnessgardentoolshed.com/product/rose-quartz-candle-holder/ https://wellnessgardentoolshed.com/product/harmonia-wax-candle-with-stone-crystal-chips-2/

Valentine’s Day is coming up, if you found this useful in anyway, please share and subscribe to the website. It helps boost this information to those searching for it. Thank you!! I appreciate all of you that have already subscribed and continue to read these blogs. Here’s to our souls evolving. Cheers.